If I’d Known

I'd never would have married you if I'd known you love me. If I'd known you would hug me and kiss me. If I'd known you would sit and watch my favorite movie with me even though you hated it. If I'd known you would cry when I told you our first child was on his way. If I'd known you wanted me for more than just my looks. 

You'd never have married me if you knew I didn't love you. If you knew what I was running from. If you knew how desperate I was. If you knew I just wanted the money. But you'll never know. I can't break your heart. You're too kind. Too sweet. Too loyal. Too loving. You'll never know how much I pine for another. How much I yearn to be free. We will grow old and I will grow sad, but your light will never fade. I will give you the happiness I could never have and let our children revel in it. You will be happy, they will be happy, and only one sad life will be sacrificed. 

I will never love you, but you will never know.