"Hey dickhead, I told you to put all that shit away and throw out the boxes."

"You said put all the meats away. Cheese isn't a meat"

"Holy fuck, are you serious?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you retarded? Why the fuck would I tell you to organize ALL of that shit EXCEPT for the cheese? Do I have to micromanage you? You're making me micromanage. I'm walking away. Jesus fuck."

"Well should I go organise the cheese too?"

"Well I don't know, smartass. I guess I could do it for you. I guess I could wipe your ass too. I guess I could fucking just do your job for you. Just go ahead and fucking sit down. Take a god damn load off, my man. I got this. I'll just do my fucking job, and then yours. Because that's what I live for. TO DO THE GOD DAMN SHIT I TOLD YOU TO DO AN HOUR AGO."

"..........Ok. So can I eat now then."

*Sigh* "Yea dude just don't take too long it's been pretty busy tonight. We gotta start closing soon."

*37 minutes later*

"Hey man are you seriously only done with half your food?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Why? Because it's been a fucking half hour. What do you mean why? You ask why when your fucking dog gets run over. You ask why when your girlfriend breaks up with you. You don't ask me why I'm irritated that you eat like a god damn sloth when we've got work to do. I've been picking up your fucking slack and shit for this whole time. You know you're not entitled to a break right? Your shift is only five hours long. I COULD WORK YOU LIKE MY RETARDED SLAVE FOR YOUR WHOLE SHIFT. DON'T FUCK WITH ME RIGHT NOW."

"Ok let me just finish my chips."

"OH GOOD YEA, NO, JUST TAKE YOUR FUCKING TIME. I GUESS WE CAN ALL JUST TAKE A BREATHER WHENEVER WE FUCKING WANT. WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?"

"Ya. You really should have thought of that first. I guess you're the retard."

"I really am."

-An average shift with me and my employees.