The Angel I Never Knew

I sent a text with no reply

I called your mother to find out why

I asked her if you were there

For her answer, I could not prepare

She told me that you were dead

She said you had died there in your bed

She said it happened the week before

And she didn’t have my phone number anymore

How could this be, I just talked to you

You thought you might just have the flu

You said you were starting to feel okay

I never thought you would pass away

I felt your death was my fault somehow

And if things were different you’d be alive now

You took it hard, you took it rough

When our kind of friendship just wasn’t enough

When I couldn’t love you as you did me

When my love wasn’t filled with the same intensity

You took to the bottle to numb your mind

In alcohol, peace, you did find

My grief was filled with guilt and shame

Would you be alive if I had loved you the same?

I cried for you and cried for me

I couldn’t deal with that possibility

I needed answers your mom could not supply

I wanted to know how I wanted to know why

I spoke to your brother with whom you had limited ties

And found out our relationship was founded on lies

He described to me a man I never knew

He told me about the real you

Secrets you kept totally hidden away

I was introduced to a new man that day

I didn’t even know the real guy

That sat there and looked me in the eye

And told me about a life that he didn’t live

Hoping for the sympathy I would give

And now I’m not sure what to do

How do you grieve for a man you thought you knew?

The things you told me, were they ever true?

I’m not quite sure how to go about missing you

I feel our relationship was filled with deceit

And now it’s messing with my grief

I’m sorry that you died that night

I’m also sorry you never made it right

I grieve for a life taken too soon

For a man, whose music lost its tune

For a lost soul who didn’t know what was true

I grieve for me not knowing you