misunderstood

I'm sorry

but you don't know me

if you did

you would understand

you would know

the questions I ask myself

what if I'm not your little girl

the smiling daughter you thought you had

what if I don't want to grow up

grow up in the hell that was left for me

where this life is almost as screwed up as me

did you know I hurt myself

that I want days barely eating anything

did you notice at all

do you realise

that I can't be fixed with a couple laughs and a stern warning

that maybe

just maybe

I don't want to be fixed

that I don't want to leave this mind

this dark hole that I have made my home

the hole where the only thing I can hurt is myself

I don't think you realise

just how much I hate myself

how terrible of a person I am

how scared I am

of being alone

of being alive

because if you did

I think you might feel the same way

about myself

and you'd stay away

because maybe then

we can truly understand one another