Not Actually Rejection

If you desire to have powerful experiences with romance and kink, then no - not anyone will do.

Whether you're seeking or attracting, a 'no' does not signify what you might think rejection means.

We're social creatures, and we commonly like to see others pleased with us. It's a joy that comes from without, rather than within. The happiness of self-love, well - that actually eclipses such things, but if you're still struggling with that, then this is important.

The implication (particularly in these United States of Insecurity) of rejection is that you are not *good enough*. You are lacking, and thus you warranted a *'No'*.

This is absolutely not the case.

Powerful experiences in romance and kink will occur with enthusiasm on both sides - with mutual sparks and attraction, with fascination and lust simmering forth.

When someone says, 'No', they are informing you that they just aren't a great fit for that, with you. Given the scale of humanity out there, the uniqueness of every individual and their collection of experiences, this only makes sense - *many* people will not make a great fit for you. Our preferences vary just so much that a match in the upper percentiles isn't exactly common.

And that's totally okay.

Those powerful experiences won't occur with just anyone. The attraction and connection needs to form.

I am *happy* when I know for a certainty that someone I'm interested in does not share that same interest. It saves us both time and energy, and I'm excited to continue on without having any need for lingering thoughts there.

Is it occasionally disappointing that this cool person and I didn't connect in that way? Doubtlessly. There've been more than a few in that category. But I don't pine after them, nor stab my sense of self and identity because that happened.

There are so many perfectly imperfect people out there for each of us. Giving up or looking askance at ourselves for meeting some of the many who *aren't* a great match is like getting angry at a cloudy sky - it'll keep happening, and nothing will have changed but you suffering for it. (And not even the fun kind of suffering, really)

In the screenwriting world, we know that success is a numbers game. There are so many variables that determine whether a given project is a great fit for a given producer; no matter how well you've prepared or set up your project, *no project is ever perfect for everyone*.

Which doesn't bother me in the slightest, because I'd cringe at what'd happen to my Horror scripts in the hands of Disney.