Crack it down....

            I realize in my short lifespan that....life is hard. It is not all tender like some parents or optimistic people want to make us believe. No, it’s certainly not. We make some stupid decisions. Decisions base on several factors: family, friends, emotions, society. Decisions we may regret someday, after realizing just how stubborn we were. Even at five years old. We are human after all, and imperfections are what shapes us, make us beautiful. We are strange creatures, really. We are weak, irrational, and unnecessarily adamant. We put our faith in whatever hold promises of happiness, out-looking the result of say desire...We are recklessly human.

          Even though I seem to despise their obstinate behavior, I, in fact, admire humans for, every time they fall apart, they find the resources to stand up again. And if they collapse again, they will never surrender until their final destination is attained. No breakdown can completely defeat them. Over and over, they rise up high in the freshly clear blue sky— just like the beautiful skylark — singing their inimitable song. His determination is the reason of why he survives and is at the top of every other being.

           Well, how to put it, I envision my life as an asymmetric and irregular nutshell; a hard brownish nutshell, devoid of any logical sense. And I considered this very shell as my shield; a rough, icky shield created to protect me from the world, from these words, from these mean persons. I isolated myself. I thought life was the epitome of hell and in a sense, it’s kind of is — always has been. I’m shallow, indecisive, and a total mess. I’m tired to fight a fight I didn’t begin.

“ Struggle as hard as you can for whatever you believe in.”

Regrets are terrible friends.

 Little do I know they will be my companions for the next few decades I have left to life. But, I won’t let that break me...I can’t, I won’t.

I already miss too many opportunities over fears and uncertainties,

over mistrust in my myself.

i have to dive in these waves and experience life.

This nutshell had a tender heart....but every one fail to see it..

except my loving parents...

 And I fail to notice, I hurt them too by shutting the world.