Tortured

I've been trying to forget about you while also trying to forgive you. I can't seem to rid you of my memory. Because with you I had the best time of my life. And it seems so strange that I hate you and love you. I can still remember the contour of your face and the curve of your lips. It's odd to me how you made me feel so alive, and how I now wish to die so I can finally forget you. Cause I don't think I'll ever forget you, and so long as I remember, I don't think this pain will ever leave. I try to give myself closure and it's more like picking a scab. No matter how much I drink or how much I write, my thoughts always seem to circle back to you. To the day you walked into my life to the day you left. You brought sunshine back to my pitch black sky. Yet now, I've become much more at home underneath the cover of the clouds. I don't understand how you can walk away from my life but you live inside my brain.