Unrequited

There is no life without suffering.

The only question is which kind

You would most prefer to carry.

The answer is almost always the

Variety you do not currently possess

Because the true extent of our

Past pain is frankly forgettable.

The provision is out of our control,

To save our fragile sanity, but

It does not help us to keep sound hopes;

Not that they would consent

To be anything but irrational anyway.

Occasionally you might choose

Your present pain, but only for love,

Even a love you cannot define,

A love that refuses to fade with time.

You know nothing but that you

Want their happiness, and any

Personal suffering needed to secure it

Is a necessary evil - no, not so;

A boundless joy that brings a smile

To the eyes, that your tears of

Restraint, hopelessness, and humiliation

May water the seeds of contentment

In their heart as they sprout and bloom.

Your tears are only a fraction

Of the input, and invisible also as they

Must be to do their job effectively,

So they are universally overlooked

In favor of the soil of familiar affection

Giving the roots its grip, in favor of

The sunlight of passionate interests 

That warms the soul, in favor of

The soft touch of a sweetheart honeybee.

Yet your restraint is valuable all the more

For its lack of exaltation, for its silence.

On reason, then, causes you to

Embrace the suffering that spurns you,

That crushes you under its heel,

That puts rocks in your stomach,

Thunderclouds in your heart, and 

Cotton in your brain, unrelenting to

Your cries for a reason, a definition,

A guide of what is right and wrong

And what lies within yourself,

So that you can understand.

You embrace the suffering either

Deaf or merciless, preferring no other

Softer club or blunter blade,

Only because you know your silence

Spares them a burden, and their joy

Lights up their eyes and yours

In tandem, until you cannot wipe

The smile off your face, even as

You remember your attachment

And attunement are not reciprocated.

Their happiness is yours, and 

Your suffering fuels it.

How could you ever let that go?