Unexpected Truth [Excerpt]

My name is Jordan Maze & I am a sociopath. I know this, & I am very proud of it. You see, what you may not know is…all the criticisms & characteristics of a sociopath that you people think makes us sick, actually makes us something else entirely. Everything about me makes me better than you. Everything. I’m smarter than you, I’m stronger than you, I can do things you could never imagine yourself doing. All because you’re too weak to give yourself that power. The irony is humiliating, I don’t see how you live with yourselves. All you want is power…but you’re too “sane” to take it. You couldn’t handle the power anyway. That’s why this world needs me. That’s why you need me. You need me more than anything else. I am your savior. I am your provider. I am your God. And when you can’t handle the pressure of life, when you’re too lonely or too incapable of helping yourself, when you’ve run out of answers & don’t know where to go…you come to me. Knowing what I am, you may assume that I’m some sort of assassin that finds joy or beauty in ending the lives of the miserable. Ending that speculation is a must, so allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Dr. Jordan Maze, & I am a Counseling Psychologist. 

The first thing I ask of my…patients, to put politely, is to tell me who they are. “Who are you??” The question itself is very personal, yet wildly foreign, because it’s one we don’t get asked enough. No one knows anyone because no one asks. Then again, no one would truly tell. So how do we find out?? Well, you can’t. But I’m not you. Fortunately for myself, & for you, this is my area of expertise. It’s quite simple once you see it the right way. Everyone is a story, & I’m an avid reader. When I ask this question, I don’t care too much for the answer. It’s the attitude I pay attention to. Would you describe yourself to me confidently?? Would you be timid?? Secretive?? Eager?? What most people don’t understand, is that the way we see ourselves is the portal that ultimately leads to the discovery of our true identity. But in this world, people would rather depend on others to try & show them. It’s funny, irony is quite the motif in many of these stories. But none of that gets past me. I can already tell what kind of person you are just by the manner of which you answer the first thing I ask you. That’s why I’m the best at what I do. I see you for what you really are. And after years of decoding all your false assumptions of all your problems that you make larger than life, I can boldly announce that you are all the same. You all share a collective of values, beliefs, intentions, fears, & faults. What makes you think you’re different is the combination of these ideas you own. I would like to propose an interesting allegory for you. Let’s say there are several fashion designers in a competition. They are all given the same materials. The same set of fabrics, the same array of colors, the same display of patterns. Of course, when they begin to construct their pieces, they involuntarily reflect who they see themselves as into their work. That’s what art is, placing ourselves in the things we create. So their background, their experiences, their perception of life, & everything within those margins are incorporated into what they do with these materials. But how they put them together, what they use to put them together, the arrangement in which they are together, the size, shape, & overall appearance, does not change the fact that they are all made from the same exact materials. As you should know, these materials represent the ideas I mentioned earlier. The ones you all have that control the outcome of who you will grow to be. Or in this case, what you will create. But when it’s time to be judged, the comparisons are nothing less than obvious. And the designers give the judges no choice other than to see all their pieces as one single collection. And that is how I see you. The sad part is, you all see it in yourselves as well. Naturally, the designers would be able to point out that they all have the same fabrics, colors, & patterns in common. And you all can do the same…but you still think you’re different. Regardless, my profession relies on the definitive evidence I’ve presented. The fact that you are all the same is the blueprint I use to detect what’s out of place. And as an architect of the mind, I can assure you that this foundation is vital.    

The mind is really a world of its own. It’s easy to see why we as humans think of ourselves as our own Gods. But I’ve realized something that should’ve been known to everyone before we came to that arrogant assumption. The mind is where true power lies. Notice I didn’t say your true power. That is because the power is not yours. And you can say what you want about your mind being your own, but you know more than anyone the lack of control you have over it. Now money, we control that. Your money, you can do whatever you want with. It can’t spend itself or multiply itself without you being the cause, for the most part. But your mind isn’t something you can say is yours, is it?? It works & performs without your consent & frequently without your own knowledge. It guides your emotions, forcing you to feel or think of things you’d never want to put yourself through. It makes your decisions for you, it changes the way you see things, situations, people, even yourself. It is the overseer of your consciousness, the ruler of your subconscious. You are simply everything it wants you to be. Some God you are. 

Speaking of God, the ongoing of evolution clearly disproves His or Her existence. And that’s one thing I know more than anyone…I am the evidence. If there is a member of our species that has surpassed my level of discernment, he or she must not have realized it. But I know what I am, & more importantly, I know why I am. Purpose is the breath of life. Life without purpose is nonexistent. And my purpose is to sustain survival on this planet. We all know man is too weak to survive on his own, without something ruling over him. We even see this in nature. There must be a dominant force pushing progression & offsetting balance. I am that force. You would all be savages without government. That has been proven & it doesn’t need to be again. It’s just something we know. The founders of government had to push aside the boundaries of thought known to a savage in order for them to offset the balance between them. That is what made them eligible to rule. And that same state of mind is what progresses me past the frequency of thought known to man at this stage of our experience here. In a world of evolution, stillness is the knife that cuts the chickens head off. 

I’m certain the majority of you wish to understand why I chose this profession. For you to know that, you must know me. And although you will never completely know me or why I’ve made the decisions I have, I can provide you with enough personal information to shed some light on the matter. According to today’s studies, sociopaths/psychopaths & anyone else bearing behavior correlating with them are said to have had an abusive upbringing. And from then on, its passed down through genetics. I can’t say, right now, if that’s the only way we are crafted in this world, but I will allow it to stand until I myself am further educated. In my case, that study is accurate. I am a product of rape. I am a product of my father. I believe he was a psychopath. He could’ve just as well been a sociopath, but I say the former because he was just that cold. I was never close enough to him to know for sure. I was never close to anyone. But you’ve already made that assumption, haven’t you?? I know you think you could somewhat “imagine” what it was like for me growing up simply because you’ve studied my kind before. But all you know is what you’ve read. You could never understand what it’s like to be me, so don’t patronize me with what you think you know. It’s easy to read “child abuse” on a screen & begin to understand why someone would have to turn out this way. But it certainly doesn’t mean you understand that pain. Feeling completely alone, being hated by the only people you thought existed, constantly being tortured in every sense of the word, knowing that this is the only life you have. You couldn’t imagine being a child, bullied into accepting that everyone in this world will hurt you. Knowing that anyone else who came into your life would cause only a fraction of the wretchedness you endured, leaving you traumatized, terrified at the first sight of imperfection in another human. There is no amount of capacity your brains could hold that would allow you to comprehend the key to our survival. Being that young, oblivious to the concept of “Love” but rationalizing & performing the coup of our own minds. We became more than our emotions. We did what was necessary to erase anything that could harm us. We tricked the mind & stripped it of its power over us. In this success story, we represented Satan overthrowing God. We are the Gods now. You have absolutely no idea what it took to become me. And then you have the audacity to separate us from everyone before we even get the chance. You look at us like we’re sick & we need your help. It’s almost like you forget that you’re the ones who make us this way. We are the burdens of your own hate. We are constant reminders of how much hate there is in the world. And I must say…I am very pleased. Hate is bounded to a reputation that proceeds its negative influences. In fact, it gives us more than it takes away from us. It progresses us more than it holds us back. Think about it this way, if we all Loved one another the way our great philosophers encouraged us to, where would we be now?? What problems would we have had?? What advances would we have needed to make?? Hate drove us to the age we’ve come to know as the future. It made us fierce & competitive & always kept us looking ahead. It put fear in our hearts & guided our ambitions. This country was built on hate. The world turns, fueled by hate. Love would’ve kept us in the past. We would’ve been satisfied with the way were living, & there wouldn't have been any reasons to advance our civilizations. Love is settling.