My Day with Einstein

I met Einstein once. Not a big deal to him, I´m sure he didn´t think about that day ever again. But I do. Every day.

You see, it was a school project. Fortunately my dad, bless him, knew someone who knew someone who knew the Man Himself. Before I knew it, I was on my way to “interview an important person”.

The kids normally go and interview their grandparents, ask about the war and such. The general idea behind the assignment is of course, that we are all important. Every one of us has a function in society. One of my classmates went for the mayor. That was my idea by the way, but he was faster. I wanted to get back at him, and do one better. Or one million better.

Dad didn´t even come in. He dropped me off at Einstein´s house, and I was on my own. “Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. I´ll pick you up at six, make this a good one” and with that he drove away. That was just one of that day´s many lessons.

Nothing before or since has been as exciting as knocking on that door. When I say exciting, I do mean gut-wrenchingly terrifying. I wanted to run away, but my legs didn´t work. Then the door opened.

“Yes?” the funny looking man inquired. He obviously didn´t remember our appointment.

“Mr. Einstein…professor Einstein, I´m here for the school project…” I couldn´t find the words.

“Well, you better come in then silly boy, we can´t do it on the street”

The place was a mess. Every surface on every item of furniture had a stack of disassembled paper. Books and notebooks scattered everywhere.

“Coffee?!”

“No thank you Mr…professor Einstein”

“Yes, I suppose you´re too young. Whisky then? Hah, just kidding. Coca-Cola?”

“Yes please”

“The fridge. Kitchen. Bring me one too. And call me Al”

Of course I didn’t. Nowadays the kids call their teachers by their first names, but back then every adult was sir, or mam. To call the world´s most famous scientist Al would have been just a tad short of blasphemy.

As we sat there sipping Coke in silence, he suddenly picked up a paper, and scribbled something. Then he handed the paper to me.

“Solve this, then we can talk”

It was a mathematical equation. Not very hard, but it took me a minute or two. Upon completion I started blushing, and he started cackling like a crow. The answer to the equation was a very naughty word, which I am not going to repeat here. He seemed satisfied, I think I had just passed his test.

“Answer me this, with how many words can you change a man´s life?”

Was this for real? Another joke or a trick question? I had to say something. Guessing the amount is very little, I tried:

“One, sir”

“One? What makes you say that?”

“Sir, I just figured that you can change someone´s life by very little”

“Hmmm…interesting logic. But one is such a small number. You do realize this was not an absolute question?”

“I suppose”

“Then why did you answer? You could have said you don´t know. If you don´t know the answer, don´t try to bluff. A random guess rarely gets you anywhere”

I was embarrassed.

“By the way, the real number is 900”

Now he was just messing with me. I absolutely didn´t know what to say.

“Ok, start asking me stuff. And a word of warning, don´t misquote me. Seriously, when I say something, I mean it exactly as it is. Word by word”

I nodded. Then I picked up my notes and began the questioning. Many of the questions were childish, like “why did you want to be a scientist” to which he would reply kindly: “Well, somebody has to do it, might as well be me. Those atoms don´t split themselves, you know”

When asked: “How important is science in everyday life?” he would say: “Listen boy, everything is mathematics. We can solve any problem, any obstacle, and every dilemma by examining and calculating. There is only one force in the universe, that doesn´t bow down to the laws of science. That is humor”

He then wanted to take a walk, and so we took off. We went to a cafeteria two blocks away and sat down. There he continued with his mind tricks.

“I also read minds…yes, I´m 99% sure your favorite ice-cream is chocolate”

He was right. I was impressed then, but not so much anymore. It seemed they knew him well in that cafeteria.

“Norma, how are you today? A chocolate ice-cream for the young gentleman, and what is today´s 3,14159265—“

“It´s apple” Martha said, and I got the feeling she had heard this one before.

“Splendid, and a cup of coffee please”

That was the best bowl of ice-cream I´ve ever had to this day. While eating, I listened and took notes. He said fascinating things.

“Examination, curiosity, and an open mind. This is your recipe for life. Live by it, and remember to listen to everybody´s advice but not take it. That includes this one”

Everything he said was profound and magical. And he ended every bit of wisdom with a joke, which made me question everything he said. I´m still not 100% sure about some of his answers, but cherish them all nonetheless.

“Learning stuff enables you to learn more stuff”

We talked more on the way back, and had another Coke in his study. The most mind baffling of all his wisdoms was: “The only thing in life worth taking seriously, is humor”

With this, he fell silent. His gaze went up, and he seemed to drift off. Not exactly a trance, but he didn’t say a word after that. He picked up a pen and a paper, and stopped paying attention to me.

It was almost six. I thanked him for everything, and bid a polite goodbye from the door. He simply raised his hand never taking his eyes off the paper. I thought I had outstayed my welcome and what else could I do, but leave.

Dad´s car was already outside. We had a quiet ride home, since my mind was swerving. At some point I asked dad: “How did you set it up?”

“Set what up?”

Nice one dad. He never arranged anything, he just knew the address and dropped me off at Einstein´s house. God I miss him. I had lost count on how many lessons I had learnt that day.

A month later I got a C. Yeah, I know. I really busted my ass over the essay. I made sure every quote was nailed down exactly like he said, and the whole thing was way longer than I intended. Mr. Hetfield thought I had made it up, and started questioning. When he finally believed me, it was still a C. I think he was disappointed to learn even geniuses are only humans. Or maybe he was just jealous. Oh well.

It was only a few months later when Einstein died. I cried that night in bed. I had met him only once, but it felt like losing a friend. Through the tears, I went over that day time and time again. Ice-cream, numbers, lessons and jokes. It felt like there was an invisible line connecting all this. While I was just about to fall asleep, a thought hit me. I jumped from the bed, and dug out my essay from the drawer.

I counted the words on the essay. There were 900 words on it.