Weights

I started lifting weights the other day,

because apparently it’s a good way

to deal with your problems.

But I realized rather quickly,

on like, the second or third repetition

of the first set- my arms were wobbly,

sweaty and shaking and bulbous veins,

that I had no idea what I was doing.

I’m in here, trying to work things out

just like everyone else, and yet

I’m embarrassed and hope no one noticed

my 75 pound bar that I wrestle with.

I see bigger, stronger women and men here,

their bars over their heads, screaming, panting, straining,

as they slam them down on the ground

feeling so accomplished, so relieved.

But I’m screaming too!

Screaming because everything burns

because I’m so weak and everyone is watching.

because I’m pushing so hard but the bar isn’t even moving!