Self: Unlived

I claim to need

some time alone,

but once I get it, 

I can't go on.

I think I know 

just what I need,

but truth be told:

I can't find me.

My heart runs wild

with what I'd do,

if I was given 

the chance to.

But when the chance

is given after all,

I back out 

and become so small.

So what I'd like to know

is how to do it all.