I wish you knew exactly what I meant when I said "cool." I really mean "I really don't care, at all. If you don't shut the heck up I will kill you, cut you into pieces, and feed you to my Kitten."

I don't want to hear your entire life story, or how your "boyfriend" is doing. How did you even get a boyfriend? I've been around you for three days and I already want to blow my brains out. Can you please just stop talking for two minutes? I'd like for there to be enough oxygen in this room for me too.

I thought I knew the most annoying person in the world then I met you. I totally underestimated how annoying people could actually be.

So next time I say "cool" to you, use it as a cue to stop talking. I don't want to know how mean people are to you at school (I wonder why) or how you've already planned out you're wedding with your imaginary boyfriend. I am one more injured spine story away from jumping across this table and beating you senseless.

It's not just me either, didn't you notice how anytime you stared talking the six of us would smile, annoyed? How we would start talking in the middle of your story just so we could stop hearing your horrendous voice? How none of us wanted to walk down to the cabin with you because we knew it'd be a few more minutes of you're useless talking? That wasn't a coincidence, we didn't just remember a question we needed to ask when you were talking, we made them up. We turned the music up louder. We yelled "THE FLOOR IS LAVA!" We even locked you out of the cabin for like five minutes, hiding under the beds, enjoying the quote for a few minutes. You never took a hint.

I wish you knew exactly what I meant when I said "cool." It'd save two souls...