That was than and this is now..

I lay awake on a warm summer night, the sun has set but the heat still emanates off of the pavement that leads towards our house. The humidity seeps in through the windows and my skin is sticky to the touch. I look over to see that you are sleeping and for a second I breathe in the moment of silence, we were once alive and so in love and now lay two people separated by different worlds it seems. We no longer speak the same language or feel the same things, we are separated by hate and despair but neither of us will admit it. So we sit and wait for someone to say something, we wait one another out because deep down inside we both hope for one last "I love you" but it never comes.. A whirl wind of emotions hang in the air we once called our safe place, and for a moment his body moves closer to mine in the dead of the night; he is awakened by my dewy touch and suddenly has shifted further away from me than before. As if the touch of my skin on his, burns like the rain hitting the ground on a hot summer day. He is a walking contradiction of his own words and will, but his love for me sometimes shows. I long to relive the memories we once shared, how we sat in the sun; legs dangling over the edge of the dock just close enough for our toes to touch the water. That day a million different colors danced in his eyes as he looked at me with hope, a look until that day I had not seen since we were kids. He is handsome in a way that captures the moon and the sun in one living body, his hair is a million strands of chocolate brown curls that sweep like the tides in the ocean and his eyes are the deepest honey brown I have ever seen; and if the sun hits them right they have enough beauty to melt my soul. That was than and this is now.