Bucket List

There were ten items on Coke McDonald’s to-do list on June, 17, but jumping off a cliff was NOT one of them.

But let me go back to the beginning of Coke’s reckless venture into the drug world which was first on his list. Coke had never done anything right so this would not be the first time! He had boarded a cruise ship in Miami and jumped off the lower deck near Anguilla, in the Caribbean. Unfortunately, he had misjudged the distance and struggled to reach the island floundering through white capped seas. It was harder than he thought because he had a heavy money belt around his waist and was still wearing his shoes! He lay prostrate on the beach for several hours until one of the native islanders found him and dragged him back to his small colorful cottage.

“Hey, what’s up, mon?” asked Banjo, the islander.

“I need to find a place to buy cocaine. Where can I get it?” Coke asked which was probably the dumbest thing he had every uttered.

“Oh, mon, I can help you. I have a friend who can get you coke on St. Martins which is really close and I can take you there in my rowboat for $500.”

Both Coke and Banjo piled into the rickety rowboat and headed in the general direction of St. Martins through the rough seas. Soon the patch on the bottom of the rowboat came loose and the boat began to sink. Coke abandoned ship, deciding to swim to St. Martins which was in view. What Banjo hadn’t told him was that the water was so shallow, he could wade in! Banjo sloshed through the water with him and introduced him to his friend, Stubbs, and then left him to go back home.

“Twenty thousand dollars,” said Stubbs. “Meet me in four hours at the other side of the island by the cliffs and I’ll have the coke for you in a suitcase.”

Coke spent the time while he was waiting drinking island rum. Realizing he was too drunk to walk across the island, he paid someone to take him there and drop him off. But no one was there waiting so he removed the money from his money belt and tucked it into his pants so no one could rob him. He was watching a school of sharks from the top of a cliff when Stubbs came up behind him and put a gun in his back. Rather than give up the money, Coke took a flying leap off the cliff, landing right in the midst of the sharks.

Well, Coke never did finish the nine other things on his bucket list.