The Lonely Loner

It should be said that to be a loner is not a circumstance - it's  a decision. To dwell in solitary quiet, to go the road alone, to find home in one's self  Those are the healthy loners - the ones who chose and with simple abandon because it is no big deal, just a way of life.

Now, the lonely, ah. To be lonely is not a decision or a choice. It is very much a dark circumstance. A harrowing experience that knows little about being healthy. No unhealthy loner - only a lonely soul. Because flowers dont remain healthy without light and love. People are no different.

But what about the lonely loner? The one who chooses the quiet, and the stillness and the independence, yet craves the love and attention needed to thrive. A truly dark circumstance, and often the saddest. Because the loner prefers solitude, they contemplate it alone. Because the lonely craves something more, they might weep. And the tears are their friends, each one representing greater loss than the last.

For the lonely loner, there's nothing quite like a good cry - those long lingering wails and hard sobbing- the kind that shakes the shoulders and collapses the mind until breathing is the greatest effort . But when it's all done, it feels so much better, having finally let go of that darkest part of the soul that was trapped between being alone yet surviving lonliness. 

With each tear, a part of the pain is set free, temporarily sent back to whatever black hole it had come from. And afterward, every breath suddenly feels like heaven, a sweet molasses-slow release that takes you down to that quiet little place where all is calm and finally still and back to the start, struggling to grow. 

Because afterall, it should also be said that to thrive, people need light and love.