Capricorn and Eloise

5

Capricorn closed the front door behind himself. He closed his eyes. When he opened them, she wouldn’t be there. She couldn’t. He opened his eyes. The apartment was dark and still as death. She wasn’t there. Capricorn let out his breath. He was relieved, but there was sadness twisting in his gut. He’d told her more times than he could count to leave him. He just never thought she’d ever actually do it.

He made his way up the stairs and into the bathroom. There was a bottle in the medicine cabinet. It was calling to him. He took it out, slid the lid open, and shook the pills into his hand. There were seven of the small, white capsules. He threw them into his mouth and washed them down with a glass of water.

Capricorn closed the cabinet and stared at his face in the mirror. He was sunken, sickly. His dark features and olive skin were haggard and there were wrinkles there that he hadn't seen before. His black beard was overgrown and speckled with grey. He rubbed at his chin then headed back down the stairs.

The liquor cabinet was always stocked. He took out a bottle and dropped it on the floor. It smashed, amber liquid splashing against his feet. Breaking it was satisfying. He pulled out another bottle. This time he opened it and took a long drink. Capricorn grimaced and started towards the living room. Glass crunched under his runners. He took another swig.

The room spun as the pills took effect. Capricorn collapsed onto the couch. He raised the bottle to his lips and took a drink. His arm went limp. The bottle fell to the floor and spilled its contents into the rug.

Capricorn was fading. He took a shaky breath and closed his eyes. It was peaceful, the way death should be.

1

Capricorn rode his bike along the seawall. The sun was unseasonably warm on his face and he smiled in spite of himself. The salty breeze blew through his hair.

A bird swooped down into his eyes, blinding him. He raised his hands to bat it away. There was a woman’s shriek. Capricorn couldn’t steer out of the way. He hit something – someone – and went flying from his bike and landed on his stomach in the gravel. His bike skittered away from him. He turned back to see who he’d hit.

It was a girl. She’d managed to get mostly out of the way by the looks of it and had fallen against the railing. She had a stunned look on her delicate features.

Capricorn scrambled to his feet and ran back to her. “God – Are you alright?”

She startled away from him, her stunned look turning into a scowl. “Watch it, asshole. You’re lucky I don’t go to the police.”

He pulled back, putting his hands up in surrender. “Police? What would they do? It was an accident.”

“I could have died!”

“But you didn’t.” He looked her over. “You’re not even hurt.”

She let out a scoff and started away. “Whatever. I’m not in the mood for this.”

Capricorn felt an odd flutter of anxiety at the thought of her leaving. He did feel bad that he’d hit her. “Wait!” he called after her. She turned. “Let me buy you a coffee, as an apology.”

She looked reproachfully at him. “Why would I want to have coffee with you?”

“I mean, you don’t have to have coffee with me. You could just take it and leave,” said Capricorn. “But I’d like to have coffee with you.”

“Why?”

“I feel badly, and you’re very pretty.”

She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. She ran a self-conscious hand through her chin-length dark hair. “Fine. Okay,” she said. “I’ll have coffee with you. But only because I’m a sucker for flattery.”

Capricorn smiled and picked up his bike. “Good to know,” he said. “I’m Capricorn, by the way.”

She snorted. “Did your mother hate you?”

“Yes. What’s your name?” said Capricorn. He stiffened slightly at the mention of his mother, but gave the girl beside him a hard grin.

She shoved her hands in the back pockets of her jeans as she walked. “Eloise,” she said, her chin jutting up. She had dark skin, with cheeks rosy from the sun and the adrenaline from the bike crash.

He gave her a sideways glance. She was looking off at the ocean, the wind blowing her hair giving her a wild look. Capricorn smiled.

4

“I can’t do it El!” Capricorn exclaimed. He sounded angry. He hadn’t meant to. He was confused and scared, not angry. He took a deep breath. “I can’t.”

Eloise looked at him, her brown eyes wide and watery. “Please,” she said. Her voice was hoarse. “I need you to, Capricorn.”

Capricorn almost went to her. “I’m sorry. I can’t.” He was surprised at the amount of resolve in his voice. He didn’t feel resolved. His hands shook and his breath felt fluttery.

“Please, Capricorn.” Her voice was pleading now. “I wouldn’t ask, but I think… I need you. I want to go, but I keep coming back to you.”

Capricorn turned away from her, back to the sink. He leaned against the cold surface, staring out the window through the crack in the curtains. A raven fluttered down and landed on the fence. “Let me think,” he told her. “I’ll give you my answer. Soon. But I need you to leave me alone until then. Having you around here… It drives me crazy, El.”

There was no answer. Capricorn stayed as he was for a long time. When he turned back, Eloise was gone.

2

The apartment cost more per month than Capricorn made in a year. It was a gift from Eloise’s parents. It was bright, open, and huge. And, Capricorn’s favourite part: The bedroom had views of the ocean. Just below it was the seawall where he and Eloise had met.

Capricorn hefted his box into the elevator and used it to hit the button to the fourteenth floor, then looked over at Eloise. She had a box in her hands and she was chewing on her lip. A slow smile spread across his face.

She glanced up at him and frowned. “What?” she asked, puzzled, but amused.

“Nothing,” he said. “I was just thinking about what you’ll look like when you’re ninety.”

Eloise just furrowed her eyebrows at him. “What? Why?”

“Because,” Capricorn grinned. He put his box down and reached into his back pocket. He frowned and reached into the other pocket, then into his front pocket. He breathed a sigh of relief. “Because I want to be with you until your ninety. Longer, too, but, you know.”

Eloise’s mouth opened, but no sound came out. There were tears in her eyes.

The elevator dinged to a stop and the doors slid open. An old woman doddered into the elevator car, oblivious to the scene set up before her. The door closed behind her. She was squinting, a pair of tiny glasses perched on her nose.

Eloise’s mouth worked, but she couldn’t speak. Capricorn shook in silent laughter. He pulled Eloise towards him. She pressed her face into his shoulder to stifle the giggles that were escaping from her.

The door dinged open again, this time at the fourteenth floor. Capricorn got to his feet, took his box and led her out of the elevator. As soon as they stepped out into the hall, they both lost their battles against laughter. Capricorn set his box down and collapsed onto the floor. Peals of laughter burst from him. Eloise collapsed beside him and they both laughed for five minutes before Capricorn had the ability to talk again.

He propped himself up on one elbow, turning to her. “Marry me,” he said.

Eloise mirrored his position. “You don’t think it’s a little soon?” She took his hand.

Capricorn’s expression became almost condescending. “El, I’ve loved you since the day I hit you with my bike,” he said. “I’ve just been waiting on you.”

She lay on her back again. Capricorn watched her for an agonizing minute. Eloise leaned forward again, her eyes bright and shining. “Let’s do it.”

3

“Do you need anything else?” Capricorn asked, starting to open the car door. “Tampons, condoms?”

Eloise frowned at him from the driver’s seat. “We don’t use condoms,” she said.

Capricorn gave her his cheekiest smile. “I just thought you might want them for one of your other lovers.” He waggled his eyebrows at her suggestively.

She just rolled her eyes. “Just go already. Milk. That’s it.”

Capricorn went into the gas station, chuckling. He headed to the refrigerator and picked out a jug of 1%. He brought it up to the counter where a teenage girl was working. Capricorn peered out in the night while she scanned the milk. A raven swooped down and landed on the sidewalk. It stared at him.

There was a bang. A gunshot. A jolt went through Capricorn. He left the milk and started out the door.

Capricorn looked around, his breath coming short. His car was pulling out of the parking lot like all hell was on its tail. Capricorn went to chase it but something made him stop. A whimper. Capricorn turned. Eloise was lying on the cement. He fell to his knees beside her.

Her front was stained with blood. The hole was in her gut, and the blood was flowing steadily between her fingers where she pressed them to her stomach. Capricorn pressed his hand to the wound, trying to stop the blood.

“Capricorn,” she said, her voice strained and distorted. She shut her eyes tight.

“I’m here, El,” he told her. He wasn’t sure she could hear him, though. Her face wasn’t strained anymore. She let out a breath and didn’t breathe in again.

Capricorn leaned his head against her shoulder. Cold washed over him.

“Capricorn?”

He froze. She’d spoken. It was her voice. He looked up. She was still dead. He turned around, then scrambled backwards in fear. Eloise stood before him, looking as she had when they’d arrived.

“Capricorn,” she said again, looking down at him. “Capricorn, don’t be afraid.”

He stared at her, eyes wide. “You’re dead,” he rasped.

Eloise dropped to her knees in front of him. “Am I?” she asked. “Capricorn, I’m scared. It’s so cold.” Translucent tears ran down her cheeks. Her mouth opened but didn’t form words. She buried her face in her hands.

“It’s okay, El,” he said. He reached out to her, but stopped. He didn’t want to find that he couldn’t touch her. “It’s going to be okay.”

She looked up at him and swallowed hard. “I can’t be without you, Capricorn.”