Your Own Hand

You think it's an illness, a disease (dis ease). You are frequently uncomfortable with how you feel to the point of being a recluse to protect yourself. You do your best in social situations still fucking it all up. Self doubt consumes you. You remember and uphold wrong opinions of others when you were younger.  You can't get past it. You look in the mirror and think the opinions were true. You judge yourself. You feel less than everyone else. It gets worse. You realize through a kind person you do have qualities and great capabilities but you shove that under the carpet because it's more comfortable where you are being the oppressed victim.

You annoy your associates, children and family with your crutched life. You don't change your medication noncompliance because you've found a lazy comfortable way of life. You have some kind of a life, based on your insecurities. It's not who you were meant to be. It's you choosing the easy path. It's you not getting better and happy by your own hand.