Insecure
"You have gotten fat."
Four words so simple,
Yet enough to bring out
My fake smile and say
"Thanks"
"You are eating well, I see"
They laugh.
They don't know I haven't eaten
Properly for days.
They haven't heard the sounds
Of me lurching out
The food I took in.
They don't know
How I cry seeing myself
In the mirror.
"Ah, I look great."
I think.
"Ew..you look fat.
Change immediately."
They say.
A piece of me broke,
As it always does.
Maybe I am fat.
Why does it matter
To you stranger?
Why are you staring?
Why am I not allowed
To be as myself?
Weren't you the one
Who told not to care what
Others think?
Then why are you
Making me care,
Even though I don't.
And I don't
Care, I mean.
I don't care what
They think.
But you,
You make me
Feel insecure,
All over again.
And I don't like it.
I don't like that
Even one bit.