Edmund Earl

Eric Evan envies Edmund Earl; Edmund Earl’s elongated esophagus, Edmund Earl’s exquisite ears, Edmund Earl’s enchanting epiglottis, Edmund Earl’s enticing elbows, Edmund Earl’s exemplary eyebrows, Edmund Earl’s eggshell epidermis, Edmund Earl’s epic, extended eyelashes, Edmund Earl’s enormous, exuberant emerald eyes -- excellent, excellent, everything enviably excellent -- essentially, Edmund Earl’s entire earthly existence emanates extreme elegance. Edmund Earl’s extravagant English eyeglasses, Edmund Earl’s embroidered ensemble, even Edmund Earl’s earmuffs exemplify eloquence. Edmund Earl’s especially extraordinary.

Eric Evan, erstwhile? Eyesore. Extensive eczema envelops Eric Evan’s entire elbow. Evil, encroaching eczema erupting everywhere, evolving, encumbering Eric Evan, eroding Eric Evan’s essence. Eric Evan expects everyone else’s empathy.

Early every evening, Edmund Earl eats exotic, expensive entrees -- European elk, electric eel, elephant eyeball, Egyptian eggplant, ewe, emu; erstwhile, Eric Evan eats expired eggs. Eggs, eggs, eggs; every evening, eighteen eggs! Ew, embarrassing. Ergo, every evening, eating eighteen earthy embryonic expulsions, eyeing Edmund Earl’s elephantine entrees, Eric Evan explodes, envy erupting. Exacerbating eczema.

Edmund Earl’s engaged. Evelyn. Enchantress.

Eric Evan’s engaged. Eva. Eh.

Eva envies Evelyn’s engagement – Edmund Earl exceeds Eric Evan everywhere. Edmund Earl’s everything Eva ever envisioned – eye-catching, expressive, effusive, effortlessly erotic. Eric Evan? Egotistical, edgy, easily excitable.

Edmund Earl’s educated. Eric Evan’s expelled.

Edmund Earl’s employed -- electrical engineer. Edmund Earl’s employer, Eli Everette, empowers Edmund Earl, expecting excellence. Edmund Earl exceeds Eli’s every expectation. Edmund Earl’s erudite, experienced, enterprising, entrepreneurial, esteemed. Every employee emulates Edmund Earl. Edmund Earl earns extra.

Eric Evan’s employed. Eric Evan embalms expired elderly. Exciting. Eric Evan’s egregious errors enrage employers.

Edmund Earl exercises every evening, exuding endless energy.

Exercise excites Eric Evan’s eczema.

Edmund Earl enunciates English expertly. Edmund Earl’s extroverted, effervescent, engaging. Edmund Earl enjoys Europop. Edmund Earl enriches everyone else’s existence. Edmund Earl enchants, Edmund Earl excites, Edmund Earl, Edmund Earl, Edmund Earl, everyone exclaims! Emulate Edmund Earl! Emulate Edmund Earl! Elect Edmund Earl emperor!

Eliminate Edmund Earl! Eliminate! Eliminate! Execute Edmund Earl. End Edmund Earl.

END EDMUND EARL.

Eric Evan’s envisioning ending Edmund Earl. Erasing Edmund Earl’s entire existence. Elbowing Edmund Earl’s eyeballs, extensively. Exploding Edmund Earl. Embalming Edmund Earl. Earth engulfing Edmund Earl. Enticing. Extreme.

Enough! Enough. Enough.

Eric Evan exhales, exhausted. Elation ebbs. Eric Evan eats eggs.