See A Need, Fill A Need (A Little Truth)

Have you ever felt like you could help someone? Did you? If not, why not? Sometimes the best happiness comes from helping others.

Often, when I think about going back to school, I try to think would I would go for. First, I solely felt like I should go for writing to better myself.

Then I thought about real estate because that is a good business to be in right now. Of course to minor in something I would stick with writing. Then I thought about going in undecided. But really what good would that do me. At that point I would never decide what I want to do.

Well now I am thinking councilor or therapist. I really enjoy helping people and I'm told I give really good advice. I have helped friends when they come to me asking me what they should do. I helped a friend with a relationship issue (even though I knew it wouldn't work). The friend really wanted it to work out so I tried to help with that point of view in mind. I made sure the friend knew it might not work. It didn't, but that friend ended up not caring and saw the real side of the partner. The friend still thanked me for everything I did. From listening to coming up with a plan to try to win the partner back.

I enjoy helping others. Whether or not the people closest to me see it. Sometimes I have a hard time trying to form the words on my head, writing has always been the best outlet. I honestly am very open minded and love to listen to others.

My biggest problem I am facing is really what I want to do when I get into a college or a university. One of the issues I run into is should I go into an environment where I have to be around other people and be nervous? Or should I stay at home and find the course online and stay comfortable. I'm shy and have a hard time around other people. In high school, I had to force myself to talk and read out loud in class. That was my senior year and my creative writing class junior year. Although I warmed up really well in my creative writing class. The students and the teacher all said I was really good with my writing and it gave me the confidence boost I needed to be okay with reading my writing out loud. I wanted my senior year to be a good year, so I forced myself out of my shell. I answered more questions and tried to participate more in class. It was difficult for me.

I hate being put under pressure in the classroom atmosphere. I get so worried I am going to mess up terribly. That is really an in general fear, but students are always around you and can remind you that you messed up.

I don't have friends where I live. I don't seem to fully understand people and I guess how to act around them. I don't know if it's my ADHD or if there is another "problem" that I don't know I have. I don't mind not having friends most of the time. There are times, though, I wish I was more social and liked being around other people. I would love to fit in, but I feel like I'm too strange to fit in around other people. How can I fit in but still be myself? I ask myself that a lot, but I can never find an answer.

Honestly, if you have helpful advice, I would be glad to hear it. I try to focus and I try to take advice, but there is always a little voice telling me that I can't do it even when I try to convince myself I can. I think that is a big issue I'm having. I appreciate them time that y'all took to read my little bit of truth.