Endless detox

I look upon myself and don't know who I am....

I'm in pain daily, is it mental? Is it real? I don't know...

I decide to disappear from the things I loved to do best...did it help? All I wanted was to take my pain meds...but they no longer were helping....

I found myself not opening a computer, not writing a word, not painting, only thinking I need help..I can do this!

But I couldn't...not until I knew what they were doing to me...making me feel nothing, constantly watching TV....nothing!

Until one day I didn't want to feel that months weee missing from my life, that I wasn't going to be the best grandma I could be...or wife

I feel I'm in a constant detox state of mind..but the urgency to "feel" good is gone....

Now I want to feel like Donna...