Dear Eliza,

I don't really remember if the grass was green when we were together or not. Part of me wishes you could see how green my grass is now. I'm not here to lie and front like I don't think about you from time to time, but I am here to say thank you. 

I try to remember the good times, but our problems still linger in the shadows waiting to reintroduce themselves and revive the pain. When I remember the laughing I also remember the fighting and when I remember the tickling I also remember the crying and the truth is I don't know how to feel about any of it anymore. I try to remember those warm conversations in the middle of the night, filled with seduction and promises, but all roads lead to pain. 

But I want to say thank you for that pain, Eliza. Only god knows the number of days it has taken me to realize that without that pain I wouldn't be as happy as I am. Pain can take control of your life but you must understand that pain is a reaction. A reaction that is only possible if you are capable of love.  

Our ups and downs and subsequent pain has led me to realize that I am a person capable of loving and as long as I have that I will be happy. Oh my how green the grass can be when love takes control of your life. These thoughts illuminate my brain and extinguish the grey pains lurking in the shadows and allow me to be free. I am finally free. I am finally happy.

You will always be a significant person to me Eliza, but if you love me, please remind me to forget about you so that the light of love can lead me through life.

All the best,

Andrew