It girl

I have wanted to be that girl. At times, I have tried and almost succeeded. She is both carefree and careless, never comes down from a nice pair of heels and lives for weekend getaways. The wine in her glass sparkles and fizzes, her laughter is rarely sincere and she keeps her conversations light and simple. She is charming as fuck, but - spoiler alert! - it is impossible to keep up the illusion for long.

I have wanted to love that girl. Everybody does, you see. Love is fickle and she barely lives in the flicker anyway, so circumstance and shapely legs always conspire in her favor. I have tried and failed miserably because she's about as serious as a temporary tattoo; I can't hold her stare long enough to see if there's anything in her eyes worth getting attached to. 

I have wanted to erase that girl. From photographs. From memories. From existence. She's my biggest competition and she's not even the real deal. She is programmed to do and say whatever circumstance demands. Once the contacts come out and the makeup comes off, she is gone. Her perfume, though, it lingers... Whenever I catch her scent, I smile into my pillowcase. She forever tempts me into the sweetest dreams.