Coming Out

The truth buried deep inside pounds at the walls of my heart beating me pink, purple, and blue. It clouds my mind, invading all my thoughts. I can't think. It sits heavy in my chest, compressing my lungs. I can't breathe. It confuses me, cripples me, it is the antithesis of me. I can't be. I can't afford the truth. I can't bear the facts. I don't want to admit what is so plainly obvious to me. I can't say the words and give the thoughts life, but the longer I keep them in the more potent they become. I grow weaker daily. I whisper into the void, little confessions masked in sarcasm and good humor but in reality I just want to be heard and known and understood and loved. Not despite but including this bitter and inconvenient truth.