Memory (part 2)

(...) I back up from the window and sit down again as a fresh memory hits me – his hand on the alarm clock, a gold ring on his finger... My husband. So strange.

My head is spinning and so is the rest of the world. I band down and put my head between my legs. After awhile it helps a little so I straighten up again. How was this possible? Something told me that this wasn’t the last time that I was going to ask this question. My house… and my husband. 

Hmm, I was pretty much sure that I wasn't married… and the same time I was sure that I was. Very confusing. I look around a bit frantic and to tell the truth, also a bit paranoid by now. Ready to see a pair of children at any moment. Storming through the door, jumping up and down on the bed… probably with a big golden retriever in the back, barking at everyone.

For a moment I stare at the door, frozen in place; ready for anything… yet nothing happens. The house is completely still and silent. Only the sounds from the street breaking through. Well, that doesn’t necessarily mean that the house is empty. Someone might be still be asleep… I step out of the room cautiously, trying to be as quiet as possible.

Hmm, if it turned out I did have kids, there was going to be one really awkward breakfast scene coming up... I move along a long corridor and pass two doors and in the end decide not to open either of them. I already had too many happy surprises today and it’s still early. Better save some energy and a future heart attack for later.

Can’t be too greedy after all.

I head for the stairs, my hand sliding against a banister as I go. My eyes scanning the place, looking at the white walls and the sun falling through a narrow, yet a quite tall window. I ignore the pictures in black frames, hanging on the walls; not ready yet to find out my life story. As I go down the stairs, another sour thought crosses my mind. I probably wouldn’t even know, if I was on any of those pictures – since I didn’t really know how I looked… I mean, I had a general idea… at least body wise. My legs were long and lean, skin a bright, slightly tanned color and I seemed to fit the door easy enough, but that wasn’t going to do, not even close…

As I reach the last step, I notice the front door and suddenly I’m very weary. A nasty suspicion, that I might be locked out, held against my will after all. I imagine the heavy lock and all the bolts holding the door. For a moment I even expect to see one of those locks, that’s usually used to hold a heavy metal chain together. As I head slowly down the hallway, to my – maybe only - way out, I pass a big, tall mirror but ignore it completely. The fear growing with every passing second. I finally reach the entrance and notice that it’s just a normal door. No chains, no iron bars holding the frame.

Even more, it looks so plain, that I’m almost disappointed… but still a bit suspicious. I reach the handle and push it down. Nothing happens. I’m about to turn on my panic mode again and start to freak even more, when I notice two – normal looking – bolts. I twists them slowly and they turn almost effortlessly.

I push the handle again and the door opens with ease. I stare at it for a moment and eventually lean forward, my head sticking out. With my expression and head turning franticly from left to right, I probably look like a cartoon character. I stare at the view… just a normal neighborhood, houses on both sides of the street. Little traffic, a couple of cars parked next to the curve and “happy” green laws next to them. Living the dream at the suburbs – I think sarcastically, my eyebrows twisted. I move back, my head slowly disappearing into the house, the doors closing with a gentle click.

Well, this was not at all what I expected. And if it was a good or a bad thing… well, I still had to find that out for myself.