9/3/17 - Hard Questions

The hardest thing I have had to do is tell someone that I love the truth.

And not because it was the truth but because I know it was going to hurt.

These things are not easy for me to do, but they have to be done.

But I ask myself this one question a lot - "Who the fuck are you?"

Who am I to be saying these things?  I am not the font of fucking knowledge but 

...when I see things that I believe are not right.  I open my mouth and I express concern or express what I am feeling.

Be it wrong or right, many a family member has cried because I have done this.

After I ask my self the question above, I ask - "Why is it always me that has to do this?"

I will bitch about it for a while...a LONG WHILE...but I end up doing it anyway.

I am no boy-scout,  I'm just a guy with love and integrity for his family.  And sometimes,

life isn't fair, or a path someone is on doesn't look right from my perspective so I just simply say - "have you thought of this situation this way?"  "Does this seem right to you?"  "the easiest person to lie to is yourself, is that what this is?"

These are hard questions to ask family members, but sometimes they need to be asked.  Sometimes, I get a "fuck you"  sometimes I get an "OK, well did you know this"  and I say OK  but then they go and think about it for a while and then, comes the inevitable - "Maybe you are right"  I don't want to be right, I want you to THINK about WHAT you are DOING that doesn't fuck up your life.

And with my nieces that are in their late teens and twenties - They can fuck up a lot.

I don't know if this is my own confessional - I just know I needed an outlet because I heard a niece cry this morning after another conversation...and it is unbearable to hear but I needed to make sure they were OK.  What do I know - but hard questions needed to be asked.   

And asked they were...