Apologies

We couldn't look at each other. I could feel the cold air blowing through my hair. I was freezing, but I wouldn't tell him. It had been six months. I thought I was okay with him but seeing his face just made that all go out of the window.

"Why are you back?"

"I want to pay you back."

"I'm fine," I lied.

He could clearly tell. He pushed my hair out of my face and made me look at him. He kissed my cheek, and the tears I had held back began to roll down my cheeks. He just brushed them away.

"Please, just leave me alone," I begged. My voice broke, and the sob came rushing out. "Please, you've hurt me enough. I just want to be okay for once. I don't want this again. Please."

He kissed my cheek again, softer this time, and moved my hair again. "Listen, I changed."

"You said that before. You told me you were going to fix yourself. You told me you got your job back. You told me all of this bullshit and none of it was true! Why should I fucking believe you now, Brandon?"

"Because I actually did. Listen, I can't go to casinos anymore. I can't stay with my parents anymore. I can't do anything I used to be able to do because I' m fucked up. I will always be fucked up. Just, look at me, please."

I just turned further away.

"Baby, look in my eyes. You'll see I' m not lying. I don't care how anyone else feels but I love you. I hurt you the most. So I mean it from the bottom of my heart when I say I'm sorry and I swear I will never do anything like that ever again. I'm so sorry, okay?"

I just sobbed harder. Brandon held me, and I could feel his heat. I knew he was sorry since his tears were on my hair, and the man didn't even cry when his mother was diagnosed with cancer. He held me tightly for a few minutes, before letting me go. He kissed my forehead.

"I love you. I'm so sorry," he whispered before walking away.

I started to leave before feeling something in my pocket. $5,000. I didn't know where he'd gotten it or how but I knew he was really sorry. I held it to my chest and walked back to my apartment.