Chewed Up and Spit Out

I pity anyone who tries to get to know me. There's just so much to learn. It's a complicated mess inside this mind of mine. I have to spend as much time out of my head as possible or else I'll drown in it myself. 

There's such a distinct chasm separating who I am and who I want to be. That's the id, ego and superego battling. Desires of the flesh dying for the sake of the desires of the spirit. Who do I feed? Who do I want to be? Will I ever be that girl? 

That duality bleeds into everything. Bi-lingual. Bi-sexual. Bi-polar. Hell my Myers-Briggs can't even report accurately because I show no preference between sensing or intuition or between judging and perceiving. I do it all. Constantly. I'm indecisive. I'm a hot mess with a cold heart. But we all know what God does to lukewarm people...