at least you were there

At church I too put my arm around you.

Thanks for loving me even when I was unlovable.

Thank you for being my mom although sometimes it feels like we're eons away.

At church I get annoyed when you sing too loudly

You always talk to me too much and too loudly sometimes just to fill the silence when the silence doesn't always need to be filled.

But thank you.

For talking.

You didn't help me like I wanted you to when I had my panic attacks.

You don't always say or do what needs to be said or done

And I think there was a point at which I thought you could do nothing wrong and got mad when you did

But I'm past that point and we are all so flawed and

At least you were there.

Thank you for never really leaving.