Lost to the cause. I stand further towards my death. Life gets too far out of focus. It gets too dark. Too dark to see. And those are the moments that I live for. The ones that I would die for.. The ones that I keep running from. Just so I can search for them once more. That vicious cylce that I am indebted to. It has me.. By the throat. By the guts. By the very bottom of my heart. And yes.. I am just spinning. Dizzied, and derailed by my own uncertainty. By my own unpredictability. Around, and around I go. Consumed inside these circles. These never ending loops. One after the other. Endless, and constant. Siphoning every inch of my control. Of my patience. And oh. Of my sanity.

Draining me.

Draining me.

Down to the very last drop. But I adapt. I find the way back to my sweet freedom. And I always will. Because this.. This rise, and this fall. This is all that I know. Because it is all that I have ever known. This life, and this chaos. This is all there is. And I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't have it any other way. Just fast paced motion. Just thick cut confusion. Just bitter sweet consequence. Just the wonder, just the fire, just the pain. It keeps me going. It keeps me lost. Lost to the cause.