Honest Poem

I was born on January 24th, making me an Aquarius.

I guess that means I’m drowning.

I’m 5 foot 4...and three quarters. I weigh enough to hate getting dressed.

I don’t know how to sleep, and I’m a sucker for a bedtime story that lasts until morning.

I’m still learning how to stay above water.

I often pull myself under with silly addictions and serious jokes.

Every time I come up to breathe, I think the air is so beautiful that my lungs might just cave in.

I was born by the ocean and I’ve been afraid of it every since.

I like white lies… a lot.

I’ve been told I’m enigmatic

Which is a nice way of saying I don’t make any sense.

Maybe it’s because my mom was an actress,

Or maybe it’s because my mind’s french pressed stories speak

more dark comfort than the truth.

Can you tell I like coffee?

It’s a kind of drowning I’m ok with, rich and caffeinated, purposeful;

Unlike the sea’s perpetual heavy exhales of seaweed and inconvenient facts.

I trip over sand like it’s boulders, thousands upon thousands of

little stories I tell myself to keep myself awake.

Now, I can’t even tell which grains of sand are broken glass and which are broken hearts, gathering softly between my toes and nestling in my consciousness.

I’ve never been on a sinking boat,

But I imagine it feels like high school,

How you’re waiting through grades and expectations

Treading water until a lifeboat labeled college picks you up

Or maybe you just get used to swimming.

Hi, my name is Annabelle.

I enjoy tea, fairy tales, and showers that wash off long days and

lather my hair with lavender hope.

But I don’t decompress as much as I need to.

I have inflatable life vest happy pills and sea green serendipity nail polish.

My hobbies include forgetting to drink water, wearing denim jackets lined with insecurities,

and calling myself curse words.

I don’t sleep much, but I know that there’s calmness in the clouds

And happy memories floating on counted sheep.

It reminds me that dreams are worth staying awake for.