instructions on how to implode

1. pull your thoughts inside of yourself as if your facade is an umbrella from this rain of hate

2. convince yourself there's nothing good out there. no one understands.

3. refuse to love yourself. look in the mirror for so long that your face blurs and you see yourself become a monster.

4. refuse any love at all. when your mom tries to hug you, push her away because she doesn't understand.

5. write poems and wish you could show someone.

6. don't show anyone because they don't understand.

7. continue this process until there's a fire of rage burning inside you. shove it down for as long as you can,

8. believe that this is a burden you have to bear

9. bear it

10. bear it

11. become someone you've never met before. don't look in the mirror anymore.

12. smile although there is so much weighing down your lips

13. forget how to smile

14. forget how to love

15. forget how to feel