Zip The Lip

I am a daydreamer. Often times, you can find me walking ostensibly aimless around town with an elusive look on my face. I love being a dreamer, however occasionally my casual musings about winning the lottery and traveling the world are cut short by the ever-abrupt “cat-call” out the window of a passing car. What’s the deal with this sort of thing? What do men really think is going to happen when they yell “hey baby” from the driver seat of their Toyota Corolla (or Cadillac Escalade for that matter)? Is there really an expectation that you might land yourself a date, or get laid; by announcing on the go that you think she has a nice derriere? Do you think that licking lips through the glass while going 70 on the turnpike is going to make me want to pull off at the next road stop and make out with you?

I can’t help but wonder what would happen if the roles reversed. How would things be different if women were the ones yelling from the stereotypical construction site? Would hearing, “Hey handsome, nice package!” or “Look at the luscious bulge on that guy!” be enough to make men feel uncomfortable? The idea that men may finally understand what it feels like to walk away knowing that the person behind you is likely checking out your ass or mentally tossing around the different types of underwear that you may be wearing, is enough to make me want to test the theory. After doing some research on the subject, I came across a few interesting ideologies from both men and women.

My friend, Jeff, explained it to me by relating the issue to a dog that begs. He said that when a dog begs, they aren’t thinking that they are absolutely going to get a little trinket from the table; rather they are thinking most likely they walk away with nothing. It’s the one in a million chance that something will fall from the counter that makes it all worth it. If that’s the case, then what kind of women do you think fall into the slim category of those that might positively react to being looked up and down on the corner of 15th and Walnut Street in Center City. In my house, slabs of delicious steak do not fall from the table; it’s the slim pickings that land on the floor (and coincidentally, the pieces that the dog gets). Is this directly proportional to the class of women that respond to the blatant anonymous calls of attraction?

Since the caveman era, men have always played a dominant role in society. Today, those roles are as muddled and overlapping as they have ever been, has cat-calling simply not caught up to the rising level of ascendancy that women have this day in age? Is it a dominance or territorial thing? I’ve noticed that men do not extend this obvious token of fondness, when a woman is walking with another man. This leads me to believe that men think that a woman, who is walking alone or with female friends, is vulnerable and so the attempt is made for her to fall into his web of conspicuousness. Is that the philosophy behind this male particularized personality trait? A woman alone is susceptible and therefore the opportunity is taken to attempt to land some sort of brief affection. Is it a flex of the dominant masculinity? Interestingly enough, several of my female friends think that is the reason for the needless shouts of expression from men.

In his song entitled, “Why Can’t a Man Stand Alone”, Elvis Costello appropriately sang, “Why can’t a woman just be as she seems? Must men, who can only be men in their dreams, tarnish her? When beauty meets ignorance, they shout in the street, repeating their offer to each girl they meet”. Costello may have been on to something when he talked about the repetitiveness of being shouted at on the street. This alludes to the idea that at one point catcalling may have been an affective way of scoring some digits, but through time has lost its value due to overabundance.

I have had a few guys suggest to me that “women really like it”. The idea (on their part) is that women enjoy it because there is a certain level of comfort in knowing that you’re still desired, wanted, and considered sexy. While I have definitely thrown a little extra swagger in my step when I’m feeling bit saucy, being gawked at from passersby is not exactly something that sends my confidence through the roof; and to be totally honest, most the time when I smile back I’m thinking “you can’t seriously think that it’s flattering for me to know that you and your buddy are talking about my legs right now.” Granted, it’s nice to know that you think I have nice legs, but don’t act like telling me that is going to get you anywhere special. The other reason for my smile is because I realize that it takes a fairly confident guy to just toss himself out there like that; a trait that when standing alone is very attractive. However, catcalling is not exactly a good way to exercise that appealing mannerism.

Personally, I think that guys would love it if women suddenly decided to start shouting from the balconies or leaning out their windows to let men know that they have great pecks and a cute rump. I also think that they’d be very confused for a little while, because typically women do not operate like that; and I’m guessing that there probably won’t be a shift anytime soon. It’s safe to say, that there will be no changes in the system after this article. I just have the hope that one guy will “zip the lip” the next time he sees a woman walking alone down the street. She’s probably daydreaming and doesn’t want to be disturbed by some guy who is moving in congruence with the speed of traffic.