It’s Fine

I'm a lier.

It's fine though.

I lie because it's easier than telling the truth.

So, it's totally fine.

I don't lie about important things,

Just my feelings,

Just my thoughts,

Just my truths,

But it's fine.

If you hurt my feelings,

Cancel for the 3rd time,

Disappoint me,

Let me down,

I will lie.

Only because it's fine.

I will not cry,

I will not yell,

I will not revenge.

It's really fine.

Kind of?

But it's my fault you see,

I don't like emotions.

They overwhelm me.

So as quickly as they form I seal the cracks with bandaids because I ran out of tape but that's because I ran out of caulking material but only because I ran out of glue

And Staples.

Needle and thread.

But it's fine.

I just swallow my pride, disappointments, anger, tears, sadness and the guilt for having them down to the pit of my stomach and I hold my breath to suffocate them and force my heart to skips so many beats it hardens because it no longer trust me to take care of it.

Now my heart agrees that it's fine.

With a harden heart it's easier to lie.

Unfazed.

Numb.

No need to apologize,

It's fine.