Destroy the Evidence
I want to smash apart the bed I hid under with you
Get splinters so deep they fuse together with my bones
And bleed so furiously that all the parts of me that still think of you
Are drained from my being completely.
I want to tear away the dusty green carpet and expose the rotting wood floors
Get staples so deep in my toes that there’s silver poking out through my toenails
Dust so deep in my lungs that it burns with every huff of my breath.
I want to smash into the computer screen you called me on
Let the glass push straight into my eyelids
Removing all traces of you from the hard drive
Dispelling your face from my memories.
I want to peel off my own skin
So that the pressure of your touch would be striped away
By constant burning in my open flesh.
And if I lose all sense of myself in the process
At least I’ll lose the memories of things
I’m not strong enough to say with my own mouth
That I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to talk about.
I would rather be destroyed than live with the rancid taste of
Binge eating the lies you fed me
over and over and over
Until it’s finally actually over.