No pain, no game

If I could feel no pain for one week. If I could forgo the pain of knowing the hurt I'd cause by leaving. If I could be ignorant of the effects of my actions. If I felt nothing as I switched places with my loved ones to consider how I'd feel in their shoes. If I could painlessly consider my mother's face as she held my hand on the hospital bed. If I could listlessly watch my father's tear-stained face as he carried my lifeless body to the car. If I felt no pain, and could think about my friends thinking about what I'd done. I'd end my life.