That Friend

I was at a Halloween party, and I actually dressed up this year, and I was cross-faded. Super cross-faded. I was talking to my one friend, she the pretty one, about this guy. Long story short I finally got the balls to go up to him and before I can say anything he goes, “I want s_____.” So like the good friend I am...I put on a smile and walked over to her and said, “He wants you.”

I walked away from her and proceeded to get more intoxicated. Here’s the thing. I am an avid marijuana user. I don’t drink alcohol. *now pause-how many of you are judging me for smoking weed right now? Huh? Well let me tell you something. I am financially independent at 21. I am a full time student with a full time job. I pay my own bills and I am a highly intelligent. So check yourself.* But anyway, I drank to feel better about always being the DUFF. ‘oh a 21 year old referred to herself as the duff’ I don’t meant that as I’m ugly and fat. I mean I am that friend who always puts her friends feelings first. So what if I like someone, I’m not the one he wants. I suck it up and make their lives easy.

So what’s the problem if I do this because I want to. The problem is my I put myself in this position. I allowed myself to feel like this was my job and my friends let me feel this way. Why? That’s what I don’t know. And until I do...will I ever be happy?