Consequences
My friends sort of warned me about all this, but I'm stupid, and I didn't listen to them, so I guess I have to face the consequences. So here I am, wondering what I would tell you if I could at this point, and I've come up with the following.
I want to tell you that it's not okay to hurt people, and I want to tell you that treating people like you "don't owe them anything" is inherently hurtful. I want to tell you that other people have problems too, and they can't always focus on yours. I want to tell you that I'm a person with thoughts and emotions and needs and that I can't help that I get upset over hurtful things sometimes, but I also want to tell you that forgiving people helps everyone, and that holding grudges is completely your choice and in your control. I want to tell you that generally, more things are in your control than you think, and that you're wrong about how you "can't help" that you're this or that.
I want to tell you that you are who you wish to be. I want to tell you that just saying "I'm sorry" doesn't help anything if you don't even know what you're sorry for. I want to tell you that acting on impulses is stupid. I want to tell you that you have to put in effort to not repeat your mistakes, and that you have more power over yourself than you think. I want to tell you that manipulation is wrong and constantly questioning people's intentions towards you makes everyone miserable. I want to tell you that sometimes, you have to put others ahead of yourself, and "looking out for yourself" isn't an excuse for being a jackass.
But hey, if I told you this, I would never be able to tell you anything ever again. So I'll stay quiet and continue to face the consequences.