Coming clean.

10 years ago I used to do a very bad thing and it is time to fess up and take responsibility.

I used to go after work to a 24 hour internet cafe in Los Angeles. I had to wait a few hours for my train home, so I would bide my time there. There were an eclectic group of customers that would wander in and out during the late night hours (they definitely weren't church going Republicans, if you must know). Occasionally, the cops would come by and roust people outside for no apparent reason but to look like they were doing something. One time I took a cigarette break during one of these "shows of farce-uh, force". I stood a bit away, minding my own business when a backup cruiser pulled in. A female cop was driving with a caffeine jacked white cop in the passenger seat. He looks at me and I look him square in the eyes. He didn't like that. Now, I'm a 6'1" medium build white guy, but I dress down, kinda bummy, when traveling with cash in L.A. I have no criminal record, so I have nothing to be nervous about. The cop confronts me, "Where do I know you from?", trying to get a reaction from me. I say, " I don't know, I stopped going to gay bars years ago". For a second, I thought I might have gone too far, but his partner lost it, choking on her laugh, " Ah, he got you good!" I looked him in the eyes, until he released his glare, finished my cigarette and went back inside.

Now typically, when you check in for a computer there, all manner of screens are left open from previous customers, even email accounts. Here's where I come to my mea culpa. One night there happened to be an account open for a Craigslist escort! I sat there reading that ad and my devious mind went into play. Hmm. It was a week night, I think the rate was too high. So I edited one add to read $24.99 per hour discount if you "had a bright, red apple for your "naughty teacher". Another add, I titled "Farmer's Wife" and described her, 'with an ass as big as a barn" and suggested "let's make hay". I imagined the call taker thinking that their might be a full moon, because all the callers were nuts that night or a sudden rush of customers at 7/11 buying red apples.

I did this off and on for a month, but I think they figured out why the ads were being edited, for I stopped finding open email accounts.

I regret what I did now and if I get hit in the head with an apple or two, I'll understand that I probably deserve it. And to the girl I advertised as a "fat ass", I apologise, it wasn't that large, maybe only as big as a tractor.