we'd meet in the swimming pool with blue-green square tiled walls and no water

every tuesday at 2am

and we'd lie down spreadeagled on the floor of the pool

wondering what it would feel like

if we were lying flat under 15,000 litres of water

and then you'd laugh

and i'd laugh too but only because you laughed

and i love the way your eyes crinkle

and you'd say that it's nice somehow

to dream about being trapped but actually being free

because you usually stay awake at night

thinking of things the other way round,

trying to run away from life

and i would say me too

and then we'd be still and silent for a little while

just being happy with eachother and forgetting about all there is to think and care about.

one day you pulled me closer

and i rolled to your side

and you pressed your mouth to my ear and whispered

my momma found out about us last tuesday

and she told me not to come here anymore

and this might probably be the last time we can be like this so

please, Even,

can i give you a kiss?

your kiss would be our very first and last kiss

that i had dreamt about for many nights

so i said yes, of course, i love you

and i wanted to close my eyes but i didn't because i had to see you.

it tasted like the cheap mint chewing gum

that you get from the corner store near your house

and that i would start to get

every friday onwards

because i never wanted to forget the taste of you.

and then we would stop staring into the night sky through the metal wire

chain-link fence beside the pool

and we'd climb out

and we'd hug because we were tired of waiting till tuesdays to hold eachother

and then we would start making our ways home,

out of the alley, you and i walking half of the highway

then splitting up down two smaller streets

then turning and turning farther away from where we remember seeing the other

until i wouldn't be able to chase after you and find you

even if i tried

because you'd be too far gone

and that's how things were.

that's how things were supposed to be.

i could never find you and you could never find me.

we could only ever find the street sign where our lives intersected

and trust in the other to be there too

and pretend for a night

that we would never lose eachother

and that we'd always be kids

and that we'd always live where we did

and that we could always come to this street sign at 2am on tuesdays when we needed a friend

and that our parents would never find out

and that we could hold eachother for as long as we ever wanted or needed to

and that we loved eachother

because

didn't we?

didn't we love eachother so, so much?

didn't our love transcend the two small worlds we each lived in?

wasn't our love an infinity

that would never, ever die?

#verylongpost #poetry #congratsifyougotthroughthat #sweetyounglovethatneverlasts