Disappointment

I’m not good for you

I’ll forever disappoint you

The secrets keep piling up

And what’s stopping them from coming out?

I can’t bare to see the disappointment on your face

I can’t bare to see the pain in your eyes

I can’t bare to see your eyes look into mine

No longer with the light and love they usually do

But with disgust

With disappointment

I’ve already lost faith in myself

I can’t bare the thought of you losing faith in me too

I’ll forever love you

But I’ll never be what you deserve

And what you deserve

Is much more than me

Much more than a reminder of your alcoholic mother

A reminder of the nights when you became the parent

You deserve more

And I can’t stand the idea of you realizing that

Because I can’t stand the idea of losing you

I can’t stand the idea of disappointing the one person

Who I said I’d never disappoint