I Will Be

I'll be difficult.

I'll act like that car of mine

that you just hate so much.

The car that you beg me

to let you fix

but I'm too proud

to let you do that.

I'll be annoying.

I'll be like those days

when it's hot and it's cold

and you don't know what to wear.

I'll be insecure.

I'll be like the starts we've seen

at three thirty in the morning,

they seem to scared to shine brighter

so we only see as if they flicker.

But I'll love you, deeply.

I'll even look clingy

and soffocate you.

Like when you take a shower

and you feel the steam

invading your nostrills

and you suddenly feel

like you can't breathe.

But I also know that

you love hot water

but you still get in the shower

with me,

and let the cool water

hit your back

as you kiss me.

I feel you shiver

but you won't let me

make it hot for you

because you know

I hate hot water.

You won't leave me

because for some reason

you rather suffer

than let my flawed self go.

That's something

I'll never understand

and I don't know

if I want me to understand

or you.