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"Gratitude" vs "Indebtedness" -- What is the difference? How would you explain the two in real life emotional examples? (more info in description)
"Gratitude" is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. "Indebtedness" is synonymous with gratitude, in the feeling of owing gratitude for a service or favor. With these two definitions in mind, think about the nuances between someone feeling "Gratitude" and someone feeling "Indebtedness" and how those differ emotionally. Then write what you come up with. Could be in poem format, or prose, doesn't matter, as long as you're focusing on sharing your perspective of how the two differ as someone experiencing them. // RULES // 1) Stay on topic. 2) Be clear about your perspective. 3) AFTER submitting yours, read and comment on at least 1 other entry-- do you share their view, did you enjoy how they wrote it? etc. [Obviously, if you're the first, you'll have to wait for another entry.] //CHOOSING A WINNER // a) Did they follow the rules? b) Was it an immersive read? c) Did it nail the nuances of feeling grateful vs indebted?
Cover image for post Can You Taste the Difference?, by starryEyes

Can You Taste the Difference?

Gratitude and indebtedness are both qualities that can arise within oneself after receiving a gift. Both are a sense of appreciation for a kindness received but not earned, yet their emotional flavors are subtly different.

Gratitude is a warm, sweet flavor. It tastes like hot mulled cider that warms you from the inside out and leaves a hint of delicious cinnamon in your mouth. It's a cozy sense of well-being comprised of happy thankfulness and assurance that someone cares about you.

Indebtedness, in contrast, is the pungent taste of raw onion that won't leave your mouth, no matter how many times you brush your teeth. Oh, the sandwich was delicious when you ate it, but now you can't escape the lingering onion's sharpness. It nags at you, this type of thankfulness, because it reminds you that the kindness scale is out of balance.

Consider, for example, the time when a family from my church cleared snow out of my driveway when I was away on vacation. I was immensely surprised to be able to pull up to the garage upon my return. I knew there had been three- to four-foot drifts of heavy snow in the driveway, and when I got the story from them, I found out they had shoveled the long drive by hand! It was no trivial gift.

And here I teetered between feelings of simple gratitude and indebtedness. This act was unsolicited on my part and I knew this family expected nothing from me in return. They were happy to do it. Their thoughtfulness and evident care for me gave me that warm apple cider glow: Gratefulness. But they put a crazy amount of work into it. How could I possibly repay them? What would be similarly extravagant? With these thoughts came that onion aftertaste, cutting through the sweet cinnamon: Indebtedness.

Either feeling might lead to reciprocity. Gratitude is so delicious that you naturally want to share it with others. It's a glow that can fill you to the point of overflowing, inspiring you to show kindness in return. But when it comes to indebtedness, you just have to get that onion taste out of your mouth. You appreciated the gift, but you can't rest until you pay back the kindness. Indebtedness motivates by a sense duty, whereas gratitude motivates by delight.

The next summer after this family shoveled my driveway, I had them over for a picnic and games. Since this family has seven kids, the picnic meal was no trivial gift! In this story, the paths of gratitude and indebtedness began and ended with the same events: snow shoveling and a picnic. Only I know if I took the way of delight or the way of duty. But I'll give you a hint- the summer sun wasn't the only warming influence on the occasion.