I sent this without my kids’ permission

Hey everyone,

It's been an eventful year here at the Kinkade house.

Little Tommy has finally mastered potty training. Stickers weren't reward enough for a deed well done, so we had to resort to electro-shock discouragement. He seems to have developed facial twitches, but uses the toilet beautifully. We scrapbooked every moment so we can relive this adventure for years to come.

Flora, who is in fourth grade now, took up the clarinet this year. She's a diligent player, practicing every day. We bought a value pack of earplugs and distributed them to all of the family members until practice makes perfect. We don't think she's noticed.

Kristin, our seventh grader, had a serious falling out with her childhood best friend. You know how kids are at this age. Everything is the end of the world. (If you happen to know CARLY JOHNSON, make sure to tell her she's a fool for spurning my Kristin.) We're so proud of her picking up her grades this year though- she's been getting D's now!

Benjamin, already in ninth grade, had his heart set on playing football. We warned him he's much too tiny, but he put but his heart and soul into tryouts. The poor kid was heartbroken when he didn't make the team. We're encouraging him to take a second look at the bowling league.

Dale got a job as a circus trainer this year and I'm still holding down the fort.

Until next year!

Mary Kinkade