When the aliens come, we’ll have a lot of explaining to do
When we finally make contact with aliens, and they send their scientists down the earth to catalogue our oddities, one of the puzzling attributes they’ll most certainly comment upon is the way human women are always apologizing to the furniture.
“Why?” the hive mind of genderless asexual beings will ask. “What sort of ritual is this?”
We, the human women, will try to laugh it off, explain it’s just a misstep on our part, an overcorrection from spending every waking moment in fear of some man taking offense to our presence — hahaha, isn’t it such a laugh, the way human men are so sensitive, so emotional, so irrational?
The alien scientists will frown, in whatever way a hive mind of genderless asexual creatures indicates frowning, and ask, “But you are all of the same species. Why should you fear one another?”
“Well, no, no,” we, the human women, will counter. “We’re not the same species exactly. We’re different. Male and female are different. Black and white are different. Young and old are different. We can’t possibly just get along.”
“Who decided that?” the alien scientists will ask.
“Well, the men.”
The hive mind of genderless, asexual alien scientists will pause a moment, pondering this admission. And we the human women will smile our tight smiles, apologies there on the tips of our tongues, as they always are, just in case.
Finally, the genderless, asexual hive mind of alien scientists, will look us, the human women, in the eye and speak three sacred words:
“Men ain’t shit.”
.
.
.
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Originally published on Medium: https://medium.com/@sammmfox/when-the-aliens-come-well-have-a-lot-of-explaining-to-do-405ad674c732