Wonderfooly
Dear Applicant,
We regret to inform you that your Application for a Licence to Remain Terminally Self-Hating has been rejected.
Seeing that you have performed hundreds of thousands of loving and compassionate acts over the years, affecting people around the world with positive moments, no matter how small, we cannot offer you the applied-for License, in spite of the fact that you are fascinatingly human and have made many wonderfooly* cringe-worthy mistakes. In place of the License applied for, we are pleased to offer you a License To Forgive Yourself And Keep Moving Forward, herewith enclosed in pocket-size format. Please keep it near your heart at all times, and refer to it often.
Also included, as an additional consolation prize, is our free Invisible Wrist Tattoo that says “Stop,Think, Act” in our brand new Developer font. We recommend that you apply it immediately and glance at it whenever you’re feeling the urge to do something cringe-worthy from this moment onwards.
We wish you all the very best in your future endeavours. Please write to us again whenever the mood strikes, and we’ll see what we can do for you.
Sincerely,
Your friends and fans at
the Bureau of Universal Development (BUD).
*wonderfooly: /wun’ der foo lee/
Adv. with a wonder-inducing foolishness often regretted after the fact, clearly displaying one’s perfectly imperfect human quality.