A Heavenly Formal Rejection

I couldn't help but stare at the unopened envelope. It was made out of some high quality paper, I could tell by its sturdy build. It also had a giant red seal stamped on top of it. How fancy. Yet something about it made me uneasy.

I couldn't stand it any longer. I grabbed the envelope, ripped it open, and began reading its contents.

Greetings Miss Overbee

We regret to inform you that your application for citizenship for Heaven has been rejected. Your resume proved very unworthy when compared to our standards. (No, liking stranger's posts on Facebook does not count as an act of kindness nor an act of service.) Don't feel too bad though, there are lots of others who have not gotten accepted through our gate! (It's getting harder and harder to find worthy applicants nowadays.) We are sorry if this causes you any inconvinience. Keep in mind that you can always apply for citizenship for Hell (they always have spots open!), and you will probably find it much better suited to your background. Their HQ is also rather closeby, and it's a better option than just white space and oblivion.

Best of luck on your venture of seeking housing for the afterlife.

Sincerely,

Housing Coordinator of AL Living

Heather Kukowski

I dropped the letter back on the table top.

"Dammit!" I let out a long and heavy sigh.

"Dammit, dammit, dammit!"