Kintsukuroi (or, Beyond Repair)
I could not have been more careful when I
Opened up the box
Tenderly smoothing away the wrappings
That should have protected you
But
You were already shattered
Long before you arrived
At my doorstep
A perfect heart
Fragmented by careless handling
And the cruel spite
Of strangers who cared nothing
For the perfect beauty inside
I told you it would be okay
Everything is fixable
And you deserved to be restored
To something greater than perfection
Though the fragments
Were so small
Many worn down
To dust
I sold everything
Trading what no longer mattered
For pure liquid gold
The best for you
My love
To fill the cracks
So you could be wholer
Stronger
Lovelier
More perfect than you could
Possibly hope
Because
To me
You were always a greater masterpiece
Than anyone knew
Especially you
I surveyed what I'd done
It had happened before I could realize
Suddenly
You were more gold than heart
There weren't enough pieces
And I had inhaled the fine dust
Left behind
Everything is fixable
I would not admit otherwise
I poured so much gold
To replace missing fragments
That I could not see you
Anymore
I don't know when you left
My love
My everything
But now all I have
Is molten gold
All over my hands
And I can't breathe
Because my airways are clogged
With the remains of you
And there's liquid gold
Everywhere
I never realized
Until just this moment
How ugly and useless
Gold actually is