...

I never told you how much you meant to me... but maybe you guessed. I loved you and I wanted you to love me back. I know you said you couldn't feel real emotions, but that’s a lie. Because I know you feel, just like me. So just let me care for you when no one else would. It's all I ever wanted from you, you were my reason for surving in this darkness.

Without any light, without hope to hold on to. I thought there would be nothing stopping me from falling apart, that I would end up shattered and splintered... and there would be nothing besides death coming my way. Nothing to fill my hammaring heart and a mind just on the verge of insanity... but you saved my. Even if in truth, you were my destroyer... I thought I would never meet someone that would stop me from breathing and the same time allow me to breath with a full chest fot the first time... you crushed me, you devored me with the darknes that spilled from your heavy heart.

I drowned in your rage, and got consumed by something strongert than was even imnaginable. I fell, and I burned. I died in every possible way.

And yet here I am. Rising from the ashes that you left me scorched. Stronger, in control, alive. Full of assurence that depite all of the cruelty that you pride yourself with, a sort of crest that you carry on your chest... I still saw what you hid underneth it all, with so much caution. I ignored all the distraction that you threw at me and I broke all of the mirrors that you played me with. And when everything was gone and I could see through the fog that was surrounding you... I saw who you really were and I fell deep into your darkness, enjoying every minute of it.

I fought for this love and I got my temporary prize... that love is here right now and if this means that this feeling will destroy me… than be it. I want to burn in your arms again, I want to fall into the ashes besides you… I don’t need to breath, I don’t even have to exist if you’re next to me. Just let me love you, it’s all I ask from you. I need this to survive even if I’m no longer here. So let me cherish you even if you’re the worst thing that ever happened to me... cause you’re also the best part of it all.

My nothing, my everything…

I don’t need words to describe how I feel about you, not even a touch. Just you. That’s all. Can you give me that, just a little piece ? I’ll take it and hide it in my soul… that part of me that was yours from the very beginning. You didn’t steal me… I was already yours.

So remember me, when I am no longer here... and don’t let your heart freeze again, it would be such a waist. It’s worth it you know… living, feeling and loving… thank you for waking me up, I finally had a chance to live. I didn’t before. I was just pretending so people wouldn’t stare. It’s a good thing, having your heart beat for someone else… and feel that love come back to you.

I'm running out of time. I need to go.

Don't look for me.

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